The Phantoms picked up their first win of the season in an odd fashion. As it turns out, their opponent, the Scorpions, opted not to show up for the game, thus forfeiting the match. With no one to play, but ice to be skated on, the Phantoms went ahead and had a team scrimmage to “celebrate” the victory.

The Phantoms have the holiday week off, before taking on the Barbarians on Sunday, November 27.

The Phantoms fell in their second outing, 7-3 to the Bluejays. While the team chemistry is starting to congeal a bit (in a good way), it didn’t help that star netminder, AJ “Advil” Brandt played hurt.

Nursing an injury going into the match, Brandt re-aggravated it, and his legion of fans, somewhere during the second period. After that, he valiantly tried to play through the pain – all the while cursing the absence of the Phantoms trainer.

On the plus side, new Phantom, Frank “8 Mile” Archambault made his presence known with two goals and some stellar play. The other Phantoms goal came courtesy of new addition, Mike “Take Your Hat” Orzoff, who scored his first goal as a Phantom. Phantoms captain, and motivational speaker, Greg “I’m Sick Of Hearing How Great the Soviets Are” Rolnick claimed credit for Orzoff’s goal, or at least the method behind it. Rolnick admonished Orzoff to “shoot the *&^%$# puck” during the second intermission, and lo and behold, the brilliant strategy paid off.

The true star of the night, however, was Bo “Howitzer” Coonce, who evened his shot total from the previous season by the 13 minute mark of the first period. Although he didn’t score, Coonce had chance after chance. To his credit, he did pick up an assist on Archambault’s second goal of the evening.

Another Phantom made his debut during the match. Steve “Lucky 7″ Stuart stepped up and played solidly on both offense and defense, and may even get called on to backup Brandt in goal for the next game.

Finally, after a lengthy contract dispute, Mike “$%^& Hits the” Fansler returned to the Phantoms lineup. Fansler declined to comment for this article, but his representatives assure that he’s ready to play here and not in Minsk. So that’s a plus.

Up next: The Scorpions. And not the cool German hair metal band.